The Answer is in the Question (A Truby Tip for Life and Leadership)

Last Updated on January 13, 2025 by Bill Truby
Asking the right questions can uncover meaningful answers and foster deeper insights. By avoiding “why” and using open-ended questions, you reduce defensiveness and help others identify and address limitations. Reframing your approach empowers teams and drives better results.
Video Transcript:
There is an old saying that I really like. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in it.
The saying is, “the answer is in the question.”
I believe in that. The way you ask a question will determine the answer that’s given, and if you ask the question differently, you’ll get a different answer.
For example, if you ask the question, “why did you not give me that report on time”, the person will often defend themselves. They will rationalize and justify the situation and justify themselves.
But if you ask the same kind of question like this, “what prevented you from getting the report on time?” The brain actually focuses on a different answer. It focuses on what prevented them from getting the report on time and not justifying themselves as to why didn’t I do it?
In fact, the word why often evokes a parent-child justifying, rationalizing, defensive posture in the person that you’re dealing with. So I tell people to avoid the word why, when you are trying to ask for a reason about something.
Now here’s a specific question I’m going to suggest you use when you’re hiring someone or if you’re trying to figure out how it’s going for an individual on your team.
This particular question causes an open-ended answer, and it focuses on where the person is thinking. There isn’t an on/off black and white, clear close ended result or answer to this question. When you ask it, the person has to think about something and it’ll typically evoke the kind of issue that they’re facing in their subconscious, or at least in their mind, that they’re not necessarily speaking out loud.
Here’s the question, if it’s somebody that you’re hiring, “you ask in your previous position, in your previous company, what held you back.” You can ask the same kind of question for the person that works for you. You can say, “how’s it going, in your role right now? What’s holding you back?”
Now? That question will evoke a response in that person’s mind, and it will undoubtedly help them center on what is limiting them. And they’ll answer. It could be another person, another manager, the lack of resources, the lack of time, the lack of team, the lack of something, and you’ll get an idea of what is causing that person to feel limited or incapable of doing more.
It’s a limitation that they’ll speak about, and then you can take the initiative to address that with them to help get rid of that limitation and help them soar.
When you think about how to frame a question, frame it in such a way that has an open-ended response that will allow that person’s mind to go anywhere that they want to, and it’ll undoubtedly center on what’s most important to them. Then, you’ll get valuable information that you can deal with.

Bill Truby
Founder and President of Truby Achievements