Other-Centered Love Makes Money (Achievement Nudge about Shifting Perspective)

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Last Updated on November 18, 2024 by Bill Truby

Did you know that “love” can make you money? No…not in THAT way; that’s “lust!” Let me explain.

Achieve Reward by Shifting Perspective

I often have a “You’re kidding me!” response to research that states the obvious. I’m such a believer that “common sense” should be…well, COMMON, that I am amazed when a research project spends tons of resources to report on what we should already know. Here’s an example.

Harvard Business Review, the tried, true and trusted source of “business-knowledge-gold,” reported on a common sense “duh” in an article about business startups. Sramana Mitra spoke of two things that “…determined whether a business can get off the ground successfully and sustainably…” First, you must find a market opportunity of something that customers want and are willing to pay for. Second, you must have a product or service that addresses the opportunity.

At first, I had my disgusted “duh” response. But something nagged at me, suggesting there was a deeper truth here. Then…I got it! I realized that this common-sense fact ISN’T common. I’ve talked to many people who have an idea for a business that is more focused on what they want to deliver, rather than delivering what a potential customer would want to buy.

And THAT thought led me to THIS one: We all do this…but not just in business. In all aspects of life, I saw how we often focus on what WE want to give rather than what OTHERS want to receive. I saw that the REAL teaching of this “afore-labeled-duh” is this: If we have a perspective shift, and focus on what our “customer” wants, we can be more successful and gain greater reward. 

If the out of work person focused on what an employer needs and fills that, he will be more successful than just trying to “get a job.” Asking, “What does this other person need in our conversation?” rather than on what I want to say in the conversation, can make communication more successful. Being attentive to another driver’s needs rather than just ours can make freeways safer.

As I continued to dig down this mineshaft of “duh-full” insights, I found TRUE gold. I realized that reward (in business, life and relationships) comes from exercising the principle of true love. Not romantic love. I’m talking about the most fundamental, bedrock, “source-love” there is – “other-centeredness.”

True love is centered on the needs and wants of the other person. It is not focused on what I want to give, it is focused on what the receiver wants to receive. My grandson wants to play. My wife appreciates flowers. My friend needs support. My employee likes a compliment. Other-centered love doesn’t focus on MY giving. Instead, I focus on what others want to receive, and fulfill THAT.

Now, the Harvard Business Review’s “duh-report” makes meaningful sense. “Find what the customer, wants and fulfill it” is a basic principle of life. If you shift your perspective to the needs and wants of your employee, employer, spouse, child, friend, or neighbor, and fulfill those…guess what? The “customer” will want to buy from you again.

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This article is part of our ongoing Achievement Nudge series—short, witty, and often inspirational articles to spark your personal and professional growth. Explore more nudges on our blog, or sign up for our weekly Nudge and News email. Each edition includes an Achievement Nudge plus leadership, professional development, and personal growth videos and articles to keep you inspired and on track.

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