Loss Can Cause Anger and Depression (Truby Tip about the Process of Loss)

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Last Updated on February 10, 2025 by Bill Truby

Loss can leave an imprint far beyond the moment it happens, often showing up as misplaced anger or lingering sadness. What if the frustration you’re feeling isn’t about the small thing that just happened—but about something much deeper? Understanding this can be the first step toward healing.

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Video Transcript:

The process of loss can be devastating. It can be debilitating. It can cause you to be paralyzed in life, depending on the level of loss—the loss of a loved one, the loss of a connected loved one, the loss of money, the loss of a car, or the loss of a house through fire. These things can be devastating.

One of the things that happens with loss is that we misplace the feelings. And that’s what this little lesson is about. It’s not to teach you about the full process of loss, but to recognize that part of the process of loss is anger and/or depression.

These feelings can last way beyond the actual loss. And what happens when we feel sad or when we feel angry? We look around us and see what’s causing that and inappropriately misplace those feelings onto somebody or something else.

I saw a woman recently be angry at her husband over something that didn’t merit the amount of anger she was bestowing upon him. I talked to her about it, and she was still experiencing the loss of the death of her mom some time ago and didn’t realize that the element of anger was still in her and still needed to be expressed. She just let time go by for her to be cleansed of that anger.

But this is human nature. If you feel something, your conscious mind says, Something is causing me to feel this. And then we take it out on whatever we think it is—when in reality, it’s not that piece.

So, if you’ve suffered loss, be aware that sadness is not because your boss didn’t talk to you today. Sadness may not be because your cat scratched the curtain. It may simply be coming from the other element of loss—anger that you feel about this person or this situation, or the fact that you broke your favorite glass.

It may merit a two on a scale of one to ten, and you give it a twelve in terms of how angry you manifest yourself. Allow yourself the grace to become aware that you are human and that it’s okay to feel. And when you feel it, express it. But then let that trigger the knowledge that I still may be feeling loss from what that loss was that was literal and real.

And I let it go. I express it, and I let it go. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to grieve. You can’t get around it. Just allow yourself the space and the grace to experience the loss—feelings from the legitimate, real loss of maybe some time ago.

And how do you let it go? By expressing it. Talk, write in a journal, let it out. Let the words come out that will express the feelings that you feel, and it will get better. I promise you.

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