Bananas and Beans (Achievement Nudge about Peace of Mind)

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Last Updated on April 30, 2024 by Bill Truby

Over a decade ago, I made a sandwich that my kids and grandkids still talk about. And they do so with a not-so-hidden distaste.

Achieve Peace of Mind by Choosing How You Calibrate Your Value

I have two birth sons, two sons by marriage, and four daughters-in-law. From time to time, ALL of them tell the story of an infamous sandwich I made. I’ll tell you what it was, but to be clear, I LIKED IT! You see, I always enjoy a medley of flavors…sometimes flavors that, to some, seem mismatched.

We were having a family vacation on a houseboat. It was kind of a lazy day, and I was hungry. I decided to make a sandwich. The kids were all here, but no one paid attention to me until I was halfway through making my sandwich. I seem to be able to imagine flavors together, so I let my mind create a unique combination that turned out to be good. REAL good. (At least, good for me).

First, I took two slices of soft, white bread, put butter on them, then smeared a generous portion of mayonnaise on each side. Next, I spread refried beans on one of the slices, put a slice of cheddar cheese on top of that, then placed banana slices on the other side of bread. My final touch was a splash of green hot sauce.

I didn’t realize it, but while I was making my mouth-watering lunch, my kids had silently gathered and began watching me. As I placed the two pieces of bread together and lifted the sandwich to my mouth, I saw scrunched-up noses and squinty eyes silently shouting the words, “Are you REALLY going to eat THAT?” I did. And when I did, there were audible “Ewwwws” and “Yuks” heard all around the kitchen.

I enjoyed that sandwich. After all, I wasn’t doing this for any other reason than to create something interesting for my pallet. Just because my kids (one of them being a chef) couldn’t think outside the box and enjoy a little culinary creativity didn’t mean I shouldn’t. However…

Over the years, as the story has been told over and over again, I’ve wondered, “Was I really off my rocker? Maybe I shouldn’t have enjoyed that combination of flavors.” But then something hit me. Something that prompted me to write this Nudge. I was beginning to calibrate something I was, something I enjoyed, and an experience that I had…by my kids. I was almost falling into the trap of letting my enjoyment of the beans and banana sandwich be determined by THEM! And not by ME!!

I decided to get some reinforcement data. I Googled “eating beans and bananas together” and found 22,800,000 websites speaking about it, one even talking about the HEALTH BENEFITS of eating beans and bananas together. (Eat THAT you closed-minded kids). But then I realized something else…

It didn’t matter whether I let my kids, or the 22,800,000 websites, decide whether what I liked was good or bad. Either way I would be out of control. Someone else would be judging the value of me and my experience. And, actually, I could always find SOMEONE to give credibility to what I wanted.  

Anytime we let anyone or anything outside of us determine our worth, value, positivity or negativity, we are in for a “Ping-Pong-ball-in-a-cement-room-experience.” We just react to whatever hits us next.

Instead, it’s far better to choose your “north star” – that by which you will calibrate. THAT choice is your beginning point to evaluate ANY other input. My calibration point is a God who says I’m worthy…just because I exist. I am valuable…just because I am. So, whether I like beans and bananas together doesn’t determine who I am. Who I am is already determined and from THAT flows whether or not I like beans and bananas together.

Now…if you’d like to share in my crazy culinary creations, try this one. Make a cheese quesadilla, but add thin wedges of cantaloupe randomly placed between the two tortillas. It makes for a pleasant surprise. My guests always had a moment where their eyes opened wider as they smiled and said, “Wow…THAT’S interesting…and GOOD!”

The next idea involves toothpicks, turkey bacon, pineapple or melon, soy sauce, and an oven…

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