Givers, Takers and Matchers (An Achievement Nudge)
Last Updated on March 10, 2025 by Bill Truby
In my very young years, I often heard, “It is more blessed to give than to receiver.” I didn’t like that concept at Christmas time, and I certainly didn’t understand it…until now.
A Wharton professor, Adam Grant, has written about three types of people. He says people have one of three “styles” of interaction: takers, matches, or givers. Takers serve themselves. Matchers try to get equal benefits for themselves and others. Givers try to help other people.
His research shows that givers are happier, more well-liked, and can make better leaders because their giving (of self, resources, knowledge, etc.) brings out the best in others.
It doesn’t take a huge gift to see amazing results. What’s important is to be aware of what the other person needs or wants. Anything – a bit of time, shared knowledge, an answer to a question, OR something tangible – will suffice, IF it meets a need.
Givers try to help others. That means the real issue is not about the gift; it’s about fulfilling a need or touching the heart. I learned that firsthand. On one of Joann’s significant birthdays (her 50th, but we won’t say that out loud…) I spent a few hundred dollars on gifts for her. Though she appreciated those gifts, the one gift that touched her deeply cost me a minuscule amount.
A long time ago, Joann told me a story. When she was in the ninth grade, she had an appendectomy surgery and spent a few days in the hospital. During her recovery, a sweet little boy from her neighborhood visited her. That little boy loved Joann. And to show his love, he brought the only gift he could afford – a one-cent piece of Bazooka bubble gum.
Remembering that story, I bought every bag of Bazooka bubble gum I could find within a 20-mile radius. I took one piece and placed it in a card. The rest I put in a huge gift bag. I sealed the bag and placed the card on top. When she opened the card, it read, “He loved you this much, (one piece in the card)….I love you more (see bag).”
I was immediately attacked with hugs and kisses while she smiled and cried. To this day, she doesn’t even remember the other gifts, such as jewelry, clothes, and “stuff.” She remembers the gift that made her birthday better because it gave her a memory. It touched her heart.
Takers live fearful lives. Matchers live anxious lives. Givers live happy lives, not only because they tend to be surrounded by people who are better, happier, and more engaged because of their giving… it turns out that giving becomes a gift right back to yourself.
And THAT’S why “it is more blessed to give than receive.” I get it now. I truly GET it!
This article is part of our ongoing Achievement Nudge series—short, witty, and often inspirational articles to spark your personal and professional growth. Explore more nudges on our blog, or sign up for our weekly Nudge and News email. Each edition includes an Achievement Nudge plus leadership, professional development, and personal growth videos and articles to keep you inspired and on track.
Bill Truby
Founder and President of Truby Achievements
