This Nudge is about something you know about, but may not know how much you know about it. (Wink)

Putting the word “wink” at the end of a sentence gives a whole different message. With that little word, your mind goes beyond what is written to what is implied. And it’s true for all of us. Except for countries that prevent eye contact, the wink is like a smile; it transcends cultural boundaries.

No one knows the exact history of the wink, but it’s been around for as long as anyone knows. In the ancient scriptures, it is referred to negatively in Proverbs 10:10, “He that winketh with the eye causeth sorrow”; and also as a positive implication in Acts 17:30, “And the times of ignorance God winked at.” Indeed, there are many messages that are given with a wink.

A wink can give encouragement to a person who feels nervous or uncomfortable in an awkward situation. It’s like a hug across the room. A double wink can indicate you are saying something sneaky or untrue. Even speaking the words, “Wink-wink,” can give this message, “The boss wants to have a chat with you… wink-wink.”

A wink can be used to flirt. Apply a wink to the end of a simple comment, and it can turn your comment into something suggestive, evoking a smile from the other person, maybe even some blushing and embarrassment. If you say something to a person, then wink at someone else “in the know,” it can indicate a secret shared between you and that person. A wink can say, “I’m just joking,” or tell the other person you’re not really serious.

If you wink, and time it perfectly with a click of your mouth and the pointing of your finger like a gun (sometimes known as a “clink”), it’s a cheesy way of putting emphasis on something or saying, “I agree.” A wink can be a signal. A surprise party can begin with a friend winking at others, signaling the start of the “Happy Birthday” song.

The wink has power, even out of context. Try winking at someone today, out of the blue, “just because.” Watch their expression change. They may even squirm a bit. Some might even sneak up to you when you are by yourself and ask, “What did you mean by your wink?” Such power. And all you did was briefly close one eye.

The wink has a long history, can say many things, and is used around the world. But do you know what the strangest thing is about the wink? It’s that you understand everything I’ve said. You didn’t go to “wink university,” nor did anyone sit you down and teach you about all of the subtle messages or nuances, or the importance of impeccable timing when winking. Yet you understand. You know how to give and receive the messages surrounding a wink. You know, but how?

I call it “assimilated learning.” There are literally hundreds of thousands of things you have learned without choosing to; and, most of the time, without knowledge of what you’ve learned or how you have learned it. It is assimilated, buried in your subconscious, then your autopilot takes over, so whenever you encounter “it,” you know what to do. You know what to feel. You know what to think. All pre-programmed by “assimilated learning,” learning you didn’t choose.

Do you like that an autopilot governs much of your life, even your winks? If not, don’t bother trying to figure out everything that is in your autopilot. Instead, just turn it off. You do that by living today (and every day) on purpose. Make a habit of asking yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Challenge your behavior, your attitudes, your thoughts.  You may not change a thing you do, but at least YOU will be in control rather than an autopilot programmed by assimilated learning.

Oh…my term, “assimilated learning,” is totally and completely unique. It is derived from years of well-funded research conducted in a total of 23 countries, including some from other planets. (Wink!!!)

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This article is part of our ongoing Achievement Nudge series—short, witty, and often inspirational articles to spark your personal and professional growth. Explore more nudges on our blog, or sign up for our weekly Nudge and News email. Each edition includes an Achievement Nudge plus leadership, professional development, and personal growth videos and articles to keep you inspired and on track.