We want other people in our life. But the truth is a bit stronger than that. We NEED other people.

You can’t see your eyes move. It’s true. Go to a mirror and try it. Look at your left eye, and then look at your right eye. You will see yourself looking at each eye, but you won’t be able to see your eyes move from one to the other. OTHER people can see your eyes move from the left to the right. You can’t.

You can’t tickle yourself either. For the most part, when you touch your tickle spots, you feel a sensation, but it’s not at all like the sensation of someone else tickling the same spot. Scientists say that our brains make distinctions between sensations we cause, compared to sensations that come from someone else, so we can’t tickle ourselves. We need someone else to do it.

You can’t even feel loved by yourself. You can feel LOVE, but you need someone else to experience adding a “d” to the end of that word. And the list goes on…

Research shows we need others to feel validated, even for our very existence. We need others to teach us our first words, to lift a heavy load or to talk things out. From having a baby to running our businesses, from the warmth of a loving kiss to fighting a war – we need others. Social scientists claim that even the simple experiences of life are happier times, when we share them with others. Of course, you can give SOME things to yourself, but not what the deepest part of your soul needs. For those things, you need others.

But if you need others, how do you get people to be in your life to give you the things of life you need people in your life for? (A tongue-twister question). Well… you could hire them, enslave them, maybe even trick them – but there’s also THIS fact: The only way the people in your life can give you what you need in life, is when they WANT to be in your life! So…what do you do?

Here’s the solution. The fact is: OTHERS need people in their life too. If YOU are the person THEY need in their life, they will more likely be the person you need in yours. An employee needs a good leader; be that leader. A wife needs a good husband; be that husband. A friend needs a good friend; be that friend. When you do, YOU receive a good employee, a good wife and a good friend. It’s always true: When you give, you receive.

So…you need others to see your eyes move, to tickle yourself, and, more importantly, to give you the most meaningful things in life. This Nudge is to begin using the beautiful and reciprocal law of life that’s in our universe; give to others what they need, and you will receive what you need.

For the most important things in life, giving to yourself just doesn’t cut it. Want to prove it? Bake a batch of cookies. Give some to yourself. See? It’s nowhere near the same as if someone else gives you cookies. You CAN, however, give yourself fruitcake. THAT experience is the same no matter who gives it to you.

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This article is part of our ongoing Achievement Nudge series—short, witty, and often inspirational articles to spark your personal and professional growth. Explore more nudges on our blog, or sign up for our weekly Nudge and News email. Each edition includes an Achievement Nudge plus leadership, professional development, and personal growth videos and articles to keep you inspired and on track.